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Last Night's Three in a Bed - The Birth of Sausage Snobbery
From the first show it’s been obvious that Three in a Bed’s agenda is to highlight class differences.
Never was that objective more clearly met than last night.
Surveyor Derek and former actress Anita Evans began by flying the flag for the Upper Middle-Class, with their stunning mock regency home in Suffolk.
No doubt it was a beautiful residence, but I for one would be scared to stay there. Imagine if you left a door slightly ajar. Anita would turn into Anne Robinson, “Get out of my house you common peasent, you repulse me!”
Anita was an extremely particular, somewhat scary lady, who (for reasons that will soon become apparent) I have named ‘The Sausage Snob’.
The owners gave Gainsborough House a thumbs-up and if it wasn’t for the dodgy plumbing in Anne and John’s bathroom they would have got full marks. They came in at £2 under. A good score.
Next up was former cleaner Jayne and builder Keith from Whitby. Representing the working class, Jayne proudly paraded her pig collection and Keith’s accent failed to be understood by The Sausage Snob.
“I have brought some of our Newmarket Sausages for breakfast” said The Sausage Snob.
What! You’re bringing your own food to a B&B! How insulting!
To Jayne’s credit she took it very well and though appeared a little shocked she then went for the idea.
Over breakfast TSS then said, “These Newmarket sausages are far more superior than the other ones don’t you think?”
“Have we had both kinds of sausages?” said John.
Jayne then appeared, “ We haven’t had your sausages yet, we are saving them for tomorrow.”
I haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time.
Jayne and Keith’s Overdale was a decent, well-presented B&B and perfect for it’s target market, but did seem a little pricey at £76. No bathroom shelving, a poor quality bed and light coming through the windows saw them only being paid 91% of the bill.
I personally disliked the shoe baskets. To be told to take off your shoes when you walk into a semi public place is just not right.
Acting for liberal England were Anne and John with their Art House B&B in Canterbury, a converted old fire station full of contemporary pieces made by themselves and their friends.
Though the owners didn’t like their day out, which consisted of wandering around someone’s house full of ‘weird and scary” art works, the killer blow was breakfast. Or lack of it.
The owners disliked their DIY, 'Make-Your-Own-Toast' breakfast intensely and felt that when they go away they should be looked after. "This is not a B&B, this is self-catering.”
Agreed.
PS. What's with the owners getting into bed fully clothed to do their bits to camera?!
